APPARENT ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT FAILS!
An apparent assassination attempt upon the life of this writer failed miserably late Tuesday afternoon when an automobile took out a fence and came to rest feet from the entrance of my office in Golden Meadow. Reliable sources tell TPRTK that the driver alleges he "dozed off" right before the "accident". Reliable sources also tell TPRTK that my office was not harmed. Unfortunately for the would-be assassin, this writer was unharmed and secure in Lake Charles at the time of the "accident". Reliable sources further tell TPRTK the vehicle in question did not appear to be one owned by the Parish nor did it sport red lights or a siren.
More details and pictures of the scene as they become available.
An apparent assassination attempt upon the life of this writer failed miserably late Tuesday afternoon when an automobile took out a fence and came to rest feet from the entrance of my office in Golden Meadow. Reliable sources tell TPRTK that the driver alleges he "dozed off" right before the "accident". Reliable sources also tell TPRTK that my office was not harmed. Unfortunately for the would-be assassin, this writer was unharmed and secure in Lake Charles at the time of the "accident". Reliable sources further tell TPRTK the vehicle in question did not appear to be one owned by the Parish nor did it sport red lights or a siren.
More details and pictures of the scene as they become available.
posted by Carl A. Chauvin at 10:26 PM
23 Comments:
I'M GLAD YOU CLEARED UP THAT PART ABOUT IT NOT BEING A PARISH O.E.P. VEHICLE. WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR SOME OF "DA-BAGS" TO BE PLACED IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE FOR YOUR PROTECTION. I UNDERSTAND THEY DEPLOY VERY WELL,,,AFTER THE FACT!
Very astute about DA BAGS, Mr. AllCaps. I think I'll do that, after the fact.
Question: Should I construct a machine gun nest in front of my office?
OH SIR, I TOLD YOU TO RECITE THE MYSTICAL NUMBERS FOR YOUR PROTECTION. MEANWHILE,I KNOW OF A KEVLAR VEST WITH VERY LITTLE USE,FROM THE LAST ELECTION. CALL 985-438-4120
Rest easy Carl,you don't need a machine gun nest.We have it from a kinda-sorta-semi-reliable source that the old "pointe a' saucisse gang" will come to the rescue as soon as they finish their bingo game at the old folks home.
Did you think about armor plating that bicycle you ride around the neighborhood on? Wouldn't want to see a perfectly good bike damaged.
ALLCAPS SAYS, CONSTRUCT A MACHINE GUN NEST.. BUT,WHO MANS IT? .....DANIEL?? BETTER YET, DANIEL IN A GERMAN HELMENT AND UNIFORM. THEN YOU WOULD HAVE SHULTZ!!!!!
Armor-plating my bike!?!?! George made a joke, ya'll!! Let's all laugh at George's joke!!! HO! HO! HE! HE!
He used to tell people I couldn't afford a car, so I rode a bike. Thing is, the bike was easier to ride to my office for Mardi Gras parades, which is the only time they see people from Golden Meadow.
Sadly George, a bunch of ladies in the 6th Ward were laughing AT ya'll due to that ratty, beat-up car you'll drive around in.
BTW, I'm buying one of them brand new 2007 Honda Pilots within the next 30 days.
Ya'll? I'll have an '03 Mustang on the market soon.
Well when you sell that old red ragged out mustang the buyer won't have to spend any time removing long strands of hair left by good looking gals!
We have an offer of $465.00 on the table for the Mustang!
I have ideas to think that our beautiful Parish President was selling kisses for $00.50 a kiss for her political venture at her "GOLF PROJECT" and no one had enough pocket change even after checking out their couch. Kissing her? I.d rather kiss a pig in the ass for free then pay her 50 cents. If I'd give that women any money she sure would buy a "JUMBO WATER HOT DOG"
BOY!!!! THAT 9:23 DUDE IS PISSED!MUST BE ANOTHER ONE OF MISS PIGGY'S SUPPORTERS!HE NEEDS TO CHILL OUT AND RECITE THE MYSTICAL NUMBERS.
Carl, maybe the auto was really a Trojan Horse with C & G hiding inside.
BOY!!!! THAT 9:23 DUDE IS PISSED!MUST BE ANOTHER ONE OF MISS PIGGY'S SUPPORTERS!HE NEEDS TO CHILL OUT AND RECITE THE MYSTICAL NUMBERS.
9:48 PM
Hey 9:48 PM Are you the Parish Pres. Husband?
What ever or whom ever you are eat my shorts.
I get upset when she toys with my 5 million dollars and gets away with it. She should go to jail just like Mr. Banta did.
I think you need to have this matter investigated by,"THE COLONEL".This may all be part of a "vast right-wing conspiracy".
4:13 poor YOU !!!! YOU're upset..4... cause our president toyed with " YOUR" 5 million. Since YOU feel like such a big shot telling people to eat YOUR shorts(most likely panties)take YOUR cross-dressed ..4.. whiney ass back to bed with yo nappy headed rubber doll.(MALE OR FEMALE???)..c
It is written, "the ink pen is as powerful as a caldron of scalding liquid from the vinyard".
and that is ABSOLUT
4:13 poor YOU !!!! YOU're upset..4... cause our president toyed with " YOUR" 5 million. Since YOU feel like such a big shot telling people to eat YOUR shorts(most likely panties)take YOUR cross-dressed ..4.. whiney ass back to bed with yo nappy headed rubber doll.(MALE OR FEMALE???)..c
9:24 PM
So you want to do the big nasty with me 9:24. I figured that out a long time ago from your past post. You and your wife Mrs. Randolph are nothing but losers. Don't worry 9:24 their is life after your wife bites the dust on the election. You and her can surly get a job selling LUCKY DOGS in New Orleans. LOL Did I get the little boys panties all tight. HUMMMMMMM
6:30..................... Looks like we gonna have to get the "COLONEL"to recite the MYSTICAL NUMBERS to your cross-dressing,pig-fetish ass.The "COLONEL" is close by Sir, meditating in his C-44.
And wtf are you doing awake at 6:30 A.M. Did your nappy hair rubber doll run out of air?
OH!..Would you please grace us as to WHY this BANTA dude went to jail?
Good morning Carl!
I have some great, slightly-reliable news for this Friday the 13th.
The German U-boat which has been on reconaissance in Bayou L'eau Bleu for the last year, may be reassigned to Bayou Lafourche for your protection.
We shall attempt to verify this through our foreign correspondent "RHEBB IN THE ROCKIES" at midnight tonight.
HE will certainly know if it is ABSOLUT!
OH!..Would you please grace us as to WHY this BANTA dude went to jail?
8:51 AM
MYSTICAL NUMBERS JUST WHAT THE "F" ARE YOU REFERRING TO BUTT-WIPE.
MYSTICAL NUMBERS, I have one number for you and Mrs. Randolph and that is a big, big, fat ZERO. Because that is exactly what she did for Lafourche Parish "ZERO". Also that how many votes she will get in the next election, "ZERO".
As in the case for Mr. Charlie Banta's jail time. Mr. Banta was set up because he did not suck up to anyone such as you do for your wife the "Hog Dog Buyer". He would not play in any Parish President's Game.
Half buffalo crossdresser with pig fetish........and a latent penchant for sheep in Our President's Pasture.......How Many Dogs You Got Under THE PORCH OF YOUR DOUBLE- WIDE??
Half buffalo crossdresser with pig fetish........and a latent penchant for sheep in Our President's Pasture.......How Many Dogs You Got Under THE PORCH OF YOUR DOUBLE- WIDE??
12:01 PM
How childish the old you do animal sex comeback. Just as childish as Madam Randolph in her quest to be our Parish leader.
She is nothing in many citizens eyes just as you are. It is folks as you and her that look down your nose at others and think how much better you two are.
However I enjoy toying with your sorry ass.
And for now on with life.
Oh non-mystical,crossdressing,pig-fetished,comprehensionaly challenged,nappy-headed,rubber-dolling,half buffalo,sheep boinking,trailer trashed,flea infested whiner:
You forgot to tell me about your DOUBLE-WIDE.And what about HOOVER? You don't remember shit do you?
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